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Timesharing: When Can My Child Choose Where to Live?

Writer's picture: Stacey Myers Esq.Stacey Myers Esq.

Updated: Oct 20, 2024

Boy swinging

When can a child choose how much time they wish to spend at a parent's home? The answer may vary based on what state you live in, but there is a prevalent myth in Florida that children can choose where they want to live when they turn 13 years old. I am not certain where this myth originated, but there are some services within the Department of Children and Families in Florida that are age-dependent and can change when a child is 13 or older. But the short answer is, the child can choose where they wish to live when they are a legal adult, at 18 years of age. There is no rule, statute, or other authority that says differently in Florida.


The reality is that the older a child is, the more likely his/her preferences will be taken into account when making decisions involving the child's timesharing schedule. The reasons for the child's preference will also be explored and taken into consideration. Courts usually wish to avoid bringing a child into a courtroom (virtually or in person) to testify about where they wish to live. This puts the child in a very troublesome, and potentially emotionally damaging, loyalty bind between the parents. Typically if a judge is willing to consider the child's preference, the judge will order an Evaluation of Minor Child, Parenting Plan Evaluation, Social Investigation, or appoint a Guardian ad Litem to make recommendations about the parental issues, including the timesharing schedule. These are all processes that allow an expert to speak to the child and his/her family, and others, and make recommendations about what timesharing schedule is in the child's best interest. The expert's written report should also specifically include the child's preference (if he/she gave one) and the stated reasons for the preference, even if the expert's recommendations do not align with the child's preference.


The other reality is that anyone who has ever lived with teenagers know that it is increasingly difficult to get teenagers to do what they are told to do as they approach 18 years of age. It is thought that it may not be wise or practicable to require 16-17-year-olds to be somewhere they do not wish to be, since they are often mobile. Even more concerning is the risk that they will run away or engage in self-harming behaviors at that age if they are particularly resistant to spending time with a parent (even if unjustifiably so). By and large, a well-adjusted child or teenager will typically not refuse to spend some time with both parents, absent some underlying problem or issue that needs to be addressed. The Court will do their best to figure out what those issues are and address them so that a child can benefit from spending time with both parents.




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